New Years Eve it will be 9months to the day that Butterfly got diagnosed with Autism. 31th March `09 - June `09 i was a mess but then i reached a turning point and gave up work to concentrate more on her and boy has she come on, hence July `09 -DEC `09 I'm on a high and the world is my daughters oyster.
But the last 2 weeks something is slowly happening, i don't know what and its nothing major but really small things like she is starting to go back into herself, not listening, saying one thing but meaning another, meltdowns are becoming more frequent again, As a mother i say to myself am a actually seeing it or is it in my mind or is it because I'm not treating her the way I'm suppose to. The list is endless.......
deep breathes / Check
Count to 10 / Check
Meltdowns / Check
not listening / Check
I am starting to understand how easy it is that couples split up and am grateful that autimom & autidad seem to be still on the same page but boy its hard. My problem is she wont look, talk r want anything to do with Autidad if I'm in the house and he is gutted by this and she will swing around my leg constantly trying to get my attention from morning til night and if she wants anything even if he is in the same room its always me she tracks down but yet if I'm not at home the report i get from autidad is that they are best friends. This is the 1 thing i hate and even spending days away nothing changes, i do love being with her and at times she is so so good but i sometimes find myself wondering if its as suffocating for her just as much as it is for me.
Hope it is a phase, but then again nothing is a phase with kids on the spectrum. That just makes them who they are and i think il just have to get a magic mirror and practise saying that every so often
Great blog Autiemom, I have the same thing here with our daughter, can't bear to look at her dad when I am here and only looks for attention from me all the time, its suffocating alright.
ReplyDeleteI have another shadow here and no one else is able to do anything while I'm around. Even in the mornings in the car while running the kids down to the school bus, after shes finished her bottle, I have to take it from her, not Conor or Leighan or she'll freak out. It is suffocating at times but then I tell myself, wouldn't it be worse if she didn't want anyone, me included? Its great that you and her Dad are both working from the same sheet and are strong together. Your little Butterfly obviously has a strong bond with her daddy when you are not there, so I wouldn't worry too much that she's your shadow. xxx
ReplyDeleteExact same situation here, although HRH is not rejecting Mr Loyal Servant I am definately the servant of choice. I am ok during the day but by the time Mr LS gets home I am wrecked and the constant demands wear me down sometimes. Butterfly is about a year older than HRH? Oh dear, I have quite a while left so, thanks for the warning:) Jen
ReplyDeletelovely blog, i know the feeling, its hard but like everything else it will pass and you will all get through it xxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeletetnx andra, its nice to no im not alone and other moms can find it suffocating but i must take a leaf out of your book petunia and not worry too much ...plus sorry jen, didnt mean it as a warning but hopefully HRH will ease off on his demands for attention for you, fingers crossed...tnx for comement coolkid.tnx girls i feel better already xx
ReplyDeleteI notice that too. But it seemed to stop wen jay was out of work and with him all the time. they became very close again so it must be somethin to do with the fact that we're with them all day every day.
ReplyDeleteAJ goes through bad patches, especially if he has been really thriving. kind of like two steps forward, one step back. But they do pass. I think we'l always have these bad patches but they do make you appreciate the good times more.
great blog, try not to dwell on it to much new years eve hun
xxxx
Lovely post Autimom ... it is good to see that you are not alone and I hope you get through this phase ok. I also hope you are getting all you need in services for Butterfly.
ReplyDeleteI too gave up work for WiiBoy and I honestly believe it has helped greatly. O fcourse, I was lucky enough to be in the position to do so. xx Jazzy
we've found that when Bob goes thru a stage of rapid development (eg. he uses speech better) that he also develops "undesirable" habits like chewing jewelery (mega expensive!!) or increaed echololia ...we have learned that when Bob exhibits a really tough new challenge that there's an upisde like enhanced imaginative play or a handfulof new words...just something to bear in mind xxx
ReplyDeletetnx girls, i really feel better already especially reading all your comments and il be celebrating new years eve as normal, its hubby`s bday so my new years resolution is "dont forget to accept the bad days with the good days "
ReplyDeleteHi there Autimom, just found your blog, lovely post. I'm going through similar as my daughter was diagnosed in October 2008. It does weigh on you- every time they start a behaviour, it's easy to criticise your own self and despair. But don't give up- sounds like you're a lovely mum and you had a lovely daughter :)
ReplyDeleteI've just started blogging about autism at www.strange-beau.blogspot.com- pop in and take a look if you have a moment :)
Rachelx
My daughter can be like that too. Then again so can my son (they are both on the spectrum) the older my son gets the better he is and will go to his father more and more.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when I had to every thing and it is excruciating and very tiring.
Now I just need my girl to do they same and life will be much easier......I hope :)
CaRRiE
Sorry should introduce my self :)
ReplyDeleteMy name is CaRRiE and I have 2 children with Aspergers.
I don't think you ever get over your childs diagnosis :( It hurts too much and it will never go away. They will always have Autism its hard to live with and the guilt you feel never leaves you either :(
I am really enjoying your blog :)
CaRRiE