After I was finally told that yes i am pregnant but it’s one of 3 possibilities, I’m actually ok. Telling hubby that Friday lunchtime was ok, no tears, just hope. I have a bit of hunger pain so I try to squash it with roll and salad, i could only eat half as was feeling very tired all of a sudden so at about 1.45 I go into my parents front room and lie on the couch. Can’t remember if I slept but about 2pm I became aware of the pain in my tummy getting stronger so I rang hubby who told me to ring hospital. The nurse told me to keep an eye on it and if it gets worse to come straight in. So after I hang up the phone i get up off the chair and start heading towards front room door and just as I touch the door handle I feel this unbelievable pain, a pain so bad that I can’t breathe then I hit the floor. I come around, I’ve only been out for about a min, I crawl to kitchen to my sister in pain and then i ring hubby, he tells me he is working near and he`s coming straight over, I ring hospital and they say come in, I don’t want an ambulance as we are only 5mins from there so it’s faster with hubby. Within a few minutes he is with me half carrying half walking me to the car and we are off.
I am seen straight away and brought into the cubicle, after some blood test and internal, I’m bleeding internally so doctors tell me that I must have an operation to see if it is an ectopic or because i had too many eggs then it could be something to do with them, so i am to have a camera in my belly button and take it from there. They ask me when the last time I had food was, I said about an hour ago so they come back and say they can’t operate until 6hrs after eating and explain the reasons why and what could go wrong etc, which i won’t repeat in this blog. After another hour more blood and internal the doctors come back in and say that they have decided to not wait until the 6hrs are up to operate, i ask them to wait and after much discussion they agree to wait on the condition that if i get worse they will operate without asking as iv signed the consent form.
I ring the rest of my sisters as only 1 of them knew the full story and its then i realise my parents are away and I’m gutted as at that point i miss my mom. They are all up within the hour and I have left it to them to tell my parents when they think its right, which they do that night.
At 7.15pm I’m taking down to theatre, I ask how long will everything take, doctor tells me it will only be an hour and half. I wake up and I’m very groggy. I see the clock and its 11.30. Then I’m brought back to room while hubby talks to doctor. Long story short, it was ectopic, on the verge of rupturing. So after Camera I had a have a Laparotomy Operation and they were able to save my ovaries and tubes.
I am in Hospital for 2 weeks and it took another 3 months for my scar to heal and close properly due to infection after infection. I return to work in time for Christmas `03 and when i ring in the New Year , my resolution is to get stronger mentally and physically. Which I do.........
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
To Where it all started
When i started blogging, i more or less jumped right in, but not I'm going to start at the beginning to where it all began about wanting kids.
At 18 i was diagnosed with Poly cystic Ovary Syndrome, i wasn't too upset or worried as trying for a child was not on my agenda so fast forward 6 years, at 24, a big white wedding and a honeymoon in lanzarote now we were ready to talk about having kids.
so after 6 months of trying we went to my GP who referred us for fertility clinic straight away as of my condition. Now still at this point i still wasn't worried or upset, i just kept my head and heart high and strong as i knew I'm not the only person who had trouble conceiving, my mam was the same and i think the fact that i found out at 18 prepared me for the long road i had to take. So for the next 5 years our lives revolved around, chlomid, scans, injections, my work and 3 months break of treatment in between, I know 5 yrs long seems too much for treatment but after the treatment and if my eggs wernt at the particular shape or size then i would have yo wait until the next month for the IUI. Now its July `03 and i had a scan to check if my eggs were at the right size etc, and yet again there is something wrong, instead of a few eggs, i have over a dozen, hyper stimulation syndrome so my doctor canceled my IUI for that month and i made another clinic appointment for Sept.
2 weeks later it was my younger sisters 21st, it was a great night but i couldnt drink, i felt terrible after 2 drinks and was soo tired i didn't dance much. For the next few days i had a niggling thought but kept on putting it to the back of my mind as i knew that i had too many eggs that were not the right size. By Fri i took a pregnancy test just to be sure, i used the Brand 1st response, it was negative, on sat morning i used the 2ND one in the packet........i can see 2 lines, one is faint but I'm sure its is there, i show hubby, yes he see`s it too. Since i never had a positive test, i ring my best friend who was pregnant at the time and ask her to call, within an hour she was at my door holding another pregnancy test but the brand is clear blue, i run to the bathroom and do the test, 3 mins later i come down confused, its negative ...WTF....., there is only 1 line. Hubby Urges me to to the 2ND one in the box, so i go back into bathroom, come back out and unfortunately that's negative too, so i have done 4 tests, 1 positive, 3 negative.....WTF...now I'm very confused and shaking. I rang the maternity hospital that does some of my scans, i speak to a fertility nurse and she says come in for scan and blood test Monday morning, i hang up and face a very long confusing weekend.
Monday morning i ring in work sick as cant face it and i go to the hospital with hubby, after a while we are ushered into a room and blood is taken, they ask me for a sample so they can do a pregnancy test, then there is a scan and nothing shows in the scan, after 5 mins a nurse comes back and says I'm sorry pregnancy test is negative, it seems your not pregnant. I remember the test that i had taken my self and show them her and point out that 1 of them is positive, so she said we will wait til the blood test come back to know for sure. It wont be back til tea time and I'm to ring, so i go home, and all day i cry curled up in bed. At 5.30 i cant take the wait so i ring and they tel me that i must come back wed for another blood test as there is a tiny amount of HCG levels showing in my blood, so i ask am i pregnant and she said they still don't know. So i go into work the Tue to keep my mind occupied and organise time off for wed morning. I go in for blood test and am told to ring again after 5, i go back to work numb, never before had i felt this numb, i always thought that once your pregnant, your pregnant, its black and white, yes or no, never maybe, never from the professionals "I dint Know" so i ring at 5.05 and am told the same thing, come back in Fri for blood test etc etc. Before i hang up i plead to the nurse to give me any information, i tell her what will i say to my husband when he ask me am i pregnant, i cant say i don't no for the 5Th as that's i have been saying since the 1st test at home, so she says more than likely you are but we are not a 100% sure. That night i stay in my mams as they are gone on holiday and i go back to my old bed to try and get some comfort, my sisters are at home so I'm not alone. The next morning i go to hospital with my sister as hubby is work so i tell him not to get time off as its only for another blood Test. While I'm there i have a scan. I am told to return on the Mon. I plead again to tell me something as its a week and i cant keep telling hubby i not a 100% sure, pls don't give me another weekend of this. She kindly says OK, She say I'm pregnant and the problem is one of 3 things, 1. I'm very early only few weeks, 2. I'm at the early stages of a miscarriage and 3. i have an Ectopic pregnancy. I'm not as upset at 1st because now i have something to tell hubby and now we can start hoping.....
At 18 i was diagnosed with Poly cystic Ovary Syndrome, i wasn't too upset or worried as trying for a child was not on my agenda so fast forward 6 years, at 24, a big white wedding and a honeymoon in lanzarote now we were ready to talk about having kids.
so after 6 months of trying we went to my GP who referred us for fertility clinic straight away as of my condition. Now still at this point i still wasn't worried or upset, i just kept my head and heart high and strong as i knew I'm not the only person who had trouble conceiving, my mam was the same and i think the fact that i found out at 18 prepared me for the long road i had to take. So for the next 5 years our lives revolved around, chlomid, scans, injections, my work and 3 months break of treatment in between, I know 5 yrs long seems too much for treatment but after the treatment and if my eggs wernt at the particular shape or size then i would have yo wait until the next month for the IUI. Now its July `03 and i had a scan to check if my eggs were at the right size etc, and yet again there is something wrong, instead of a few eggs, i have over a dozen, hyper stimulation syndrome so my doctor canceled my IUI for that month and i made another clinic appointment for Sept.
2 weeks later it was my younger sisters 21st, it was a great night but i couldnt drink, i felt terrible after 2 drinks and was soo tired i didn't dance much. For the next few days i had a niggling thought but kept on putting it to the back of my mind as i knew that i had too many eggs that were not the right size. By Fri i took a pregnancy test just to be sure, i used the Brand 1st response, it was negative, on sat morning i used the 2ND one in the packet........i can see 2 lines, one is faint but I'm sure its is there, i show hubby, yes he see`s it too. Since i never had a positive test, i ring my best friend who was pregnant at the time and ask her to call, within an hour she was at my door holding another pregnancy test but the brand is clear blue, i run to the bathroom and do the test, 3 mins later i come down confused, its negative ...WTF....., there is only 1 line. Hubby Urges me to to the 2ND one in the box, so i go back into bathroom, come back out and unfortunately that's negative too, so i have done 4 tests, 1 positive, 3 negative.....WTF...now I'm very confused and shaking. I rang the maternity hospital that does some of my scans, i speak to a fertility nurse and she says come in for scan and blood test Monday morning, i hang up and face a very long confusing weekend.
Monday morning i ring in work sick as cant face it and i go to the hospital with hubby, after a while we are ushered into a room and blood is taken, they ask me for a sample so they can do a pregnancy test, then there is a scan and nothing shows in the scan, after 5 mins a nurse comes back and says I'm sorry pregnancy test is negative, it seems your not pregnant. I remember the test that i had taken my self and show them her and point out that 1 of them is positive, so she said we will wait til the blood test come back to know for sure. It wont be back til tea time and I'm to ring, so i go home, and all day i cry curled up in bed. At 5.30 i cant take the wait so i ring and they tel me that i must come back wed for another blood test as there is a tiny amount of HCG levels showing in my blood, so i ask am i pregnant and she said they still don't know. So i go into work the Tue to keep my mind occupied and organise time off for wed morning. I go in for blood test and am told to ring again after 5, i go back to work numb, never before had i felt this numb, i always thought that once your pregnant, your pregnant, its black and white, yes or no, never maybe, never from the professionals "I dint Know" so i ring at 5.05 and am told the same thing, come back in Fri for blood test etc etc. Before i hang up i plead to the nurse to give me any information, i tell her what will i say to my husband when he ask me am i pregnant, i cant say i don't no for the 5Th as that's i have been saying since the 1st test at home, so she says more than likely you are but we are not a 100% sure. That night i stay in my mams as they are gone on holiday and i go back to my old bed to try and get some comfort, my sisters are at home so I'm not alone. The next morning i go to hospital with my sister as hubby is work so i tell him not to get time off as its only for another blood Test. While I'm there i have a scan. I am told to return on the Mon. I plead again to tell me something as its a week and i cant keep telling hubby i not a 100% sure, pls don't give me another weekend of this. She kindly says OK, She say I'm pregnant and the problem is one of 3 things, 1. I'm very early only few weeks, 2. I'm at the early stages of a miscarriage and 3. i have an Ectopic pregnancy. I'm not as upset at 1st because now i have something to tell hubby and now we can start hoping.....
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